home renovation

In the midst of stress and worry about our state as jobless, homeless people, I've forgotten to rejoice. You see, had I not been worried about being jobless and homeless, I would have been counting down. Let me do so now. After I go to sleep tonight, there will only be four days before I set foot on Italian soil. That's right, we are leaving for ITALY on Thursday, and will arrive on Friday. I CAN NOT WAIT!!! It really is going to be the trip of a lifetime. Here are the top ten things I am most excited for:

1. A gondola ride with my hubby.
2. GELATO!!!
3. Pasta
4. Michelangelo's Pieta, which I have wanted to see since my freshman year's Humanities 101 class
5. The Sistine Chapel
6. Outdoor markets and the treasures I will buy there
7. A stamp in my passport (I am very distraught that I've had to start over after my name change)
8. Paintings . . . I can't narrow down to just one
9. Taking photos of the coolest things imaginable
10. Ummmm.... BEING in ITALY!!!!

I really am SO unbelievably excited! I am going to try really hard to be completely worry free while there so that I can enjoy the experience. I promise I will post plenty of pictures when we get back.

So. Last Thursday we pulled into my in laws driveway in quite a glamorous fashion. We were driving something like this:

(I am still kicking myself for not taking a photo with Chad in front of our own for future posterity's sake.) The difference between the Uhaul in this photo and the Uhaul we actually drove was the additional footage added behind the truck. We pulled our 4-Runner on a trailer behind us.

As most of you know, I am not really much of a driver to begin with. I am content to sit in the passenger seat for moral support, but I don't really care to take the wheel myself on a long trip. So, if I'm not crazy about driving a car across country, you can imagine how I felt about driving the beast pictured above. If you can't imagine it, let me give you a visual: I cried. I was petrified of the thing. I had more than one nightmare of me driving, Chad being fast asleep, and the UHaul being balanced on one wheel, whilst I screamed that we were about to meet impending death.

That is why, when I took the wheel in the desolate wasteland that is known as Western Wyoming, I wasn't exactly jumping for joy. The 60mph winds only added to my feelings of terror as my sweaty palms gripped the wheel for the couple of hours that Chad got some rest. And if you think I am exaggerating, I am NOT. Seriously, the winds were trying to sweep us straight off the road. You know how that picture posted above boasts "gentle ride van?" Well, here are three words in regards to that: LOAD OF CRAP!

And while we're on the subject of states that weren't my favorite, let's talk about Nebraska, shall we? Lincoln, Nebraska? Not topping my list of places I'd like to end up. Ever. Right before we reached the city, we were greeted with lightning and thunder. We'd been planning on sleeping in our 4-Runner, but with the approaching storm, and after being in the cab of a UHaul all day, Chad's comment of, "Kate, I really hate to say this, but I don't like the look of that storm, and I think we're going to have to get a hotel," was not sounding like bad news to me. I started craving a hot shower. A bed. The mini-muffins at the continental breakfast buffet the next morning. Well, when we reached Lincoln, EVERY HOTEL ROOM WAS TAKEN IN THE WHOLE, BLOODY CITY! Apparently, the classic car convention decided to meet on a TUESDAY and take every available room. OK. Here's the deal. If the people at the hotels had been nice and helpful, I could forgive the citizens of Lincoln for this ordeal. What I can't forgive is how incredibly RUDE they were to us in each place we stopped. Let me tell you, it doesn't feel good when there's "no room in the inn." We ended up sleeping in the back of our 4-Runner, while hail pelted the roof and the wind blew so hard I wondered if we were about to reenact a scene from the Wizard of Oz.

The next morning we were off again. When I drove through my first mountainous region, things started to get a bit more intense when signs like this began to appear:

But, my favorite signs, were the ones that I would frequently see while I was squeezed between a bridge railing and a semi truck. Feast your eyes on this:

Are you remembering the dream I mentioned earlier? Because I WAS! Not to mention the fact that every time I glanced down at the speedometer (which was frequently, since there was NO CRUISE CONTROL) I saw, printed in bold, white letters the following phrase: SPEED KILLS, SLOW DOWN AND LIVE. Thanks, Mr. Uhaul Speedometer, because I was a bit further from an anxiety attack before reading THAT! Chad would seriously have to coach me through moments like that. It's a good thing I have the sweetest, most patient husband alive, or I would be in big trouble.

Well, the second day of driving we did luck out and get a hotel room. You know you've been roughin' it when the towels at a Quality Inn feel like Egyptian cotton, and the beds feel like the most comfortable things you've ever slept on. The whole fiasco left me feeling this way about Uhauls:

Having complained enough, let me say that I do feel so blessed we were able to travel in safety. We missed a tornado in Iowa by a mere four or five hours, and we both arrived in North Carolina in one piece.

Stay tuned. I meant to write about today's episode, but alas, this blog is too long. I'll give you a hint. It will be entitled "Someone Stole My Money."

After spending the weekend helping my parents move, we have now begun to pack up the massive amount of stuff that belongs to us. My house is in utter disarray which doesn't go so well with my slightly OCD personality. The sight of stacks of cardboard boxes gracing my living room makes me want to vomit. So far I have almost all of the office packed, all of the winter clothes, all of the books, all of the DVDs, and some other stuff. That's really not much, which is depressing, because it's taken all day.

We've sold a few things on Craig's List today which is exciting. We don't have to move the entertainment center now, and we're holding our computer for someone to come get tomorrow morning.

We're planning to pack the U-Haul on Monday evening and take off bright and early on Tuesday morning. I am having a hard time being excited about driving a seventeen-foot truck pulling a trailer (which I have already had night terrors about).

So, yesterday Chad and I went to my parent's house in Bountiful. They recently bought a new home (YEA!!!) and are getting ready to move. That, in combination with the fact that Chad and I are also moving in a couple of weeks, has forced me to get all of my belongings out of their garage. Sounds simple, right? Wrong. I am the epitome of sentimentality when it comes to accumulating junk. I never throw anything away. Notes passed to me in junior high school? Oh yes, some of those were there. Every card ever sent to me when I was Junior Miss? Oh yes, they were there. Some things were more than painful for me to toss away. I had to sit on my hands to keep from digging through the trash can to salvage what remained of the memories I was tossing away. I am a sick person. After going through boxes of belongings that have been packed away for the last five years, here are some of the worst of the worst. Things I am still asking, "Why in the heck did I keep this?" Prepare yourselves. It's not going to be pretty. The top ten:

1. WSU alcohol flask

This was gifted to me as a joke from my good friend Lena. We were attending universities with identical mascots: the cougar. My university, however, wasn't as keen on the alcohol consumption. I found this hysterical and it sat on a shelf in my dorm room, and later in my Glenwood apartment. I'm actually shocked I didn't get reported to the honor code office, come to think of it. Even with all of its charm, I'm not sure what I intended to do with it permanently.

2. Pink Fuzzy Dice

I feel a Cake song coming on . . . These used to hang proudly from the rear-view mirror of my 1984 Ford Bronco, Eddie. Oh, bless my heart. I know these were a gift from someone in high school as well.

3. Keys to my first car, a 1982 Honda Prelude

Her name was Truvy and she had a very short-lived life. For those of you who don't know, it is because of this vehicle that I now drive like a paranoid, 85-year-old woman. When I was 16, I flipped this car on my way home from school. Later that night I performed in the opening night of our high school's musical Our Miss Brooks, staring my good friend Emily.

4. Pet Rock from David

This rock from my friend David became a traditional gift. I think several of us were given these stones from his yard for various occasions. Was I hoping to use this to help pave my driveway someday? I know not. But saved it I did.

5. French Class Valentine

His name was Sam. He was a senior. I was a freshman. And was he ever cute. *Sigh. For those of you who can't read French, this says "I think that you are hot." Whatever possessed me to keep this for so many years I cannot say, because I'm pretty sure he might have been gay, but whatever.

6. Japan Airlines Barf Bag

This one takes the cake, folks. In sixth grade, JAL took all the sixth graders on a flight. This was the barf bag included in our flight package. Why did I keep this? Was I thinking that someday I might have the flu and be in need of a comforting reminder from my past that could still be used functionally? I have no idea.

7. IHOP name tag

As if the memories of two summers worth of feeding white-trash pancake eaters wasn't enough, apparently I felt the need to immortalize the experience by forever housing my name tag in a cardboard box. Was I holding on to this just in case the whole college degree thing didn't work out?

8. My Jesus shirt

This shirt became a bit of a trademark during high school. It was when I was going through my whole "Goodwill T-shirts, jeans, and no make-up phase." I think I have photos wearing this at play practice for each of the shows I was in. When I bought it on a Goodwill run, I had no idea that Jesus was on it. It wasn't until my friend Ryan proclaimed that "Jesus is on your shirt!" that I realized what I thought had said "sunrise balloon festival" actually said "Sonrise balloon festival."

9. Good Luck Poster

This is just one example of the countless similar items of memorabilia I had stashed away. This one was a poster my freshman ward friends made for me before I left to give up my title to the new Washington's Junior Miss. I guess I thought this definitely would look great framed in my house someday. I also had a poster my friend Jared used to ask me to Homecoming our senior year of high school. In addition, I had saved the Barbie birthday card my friend Elliott gave me when I turned 16. There was also a monstrous collection of cards from family and friends I felt the need to salvage.

10. Girls Camp Accessories

Every year at Girl's Camp we were all frantically trying to earn the special beads for our necklaces. I saved them all. Of course, one year it was pins for our tweety-bird hats, and I saved those, too. I think I look quite stylish, so I'm surprised I was able to part with these gems.

So, there you go. Hopefully, you don't think less of me after finding out about my horrifically bad habit. I do, however, feel I deserve some credit because each of these things is either in our garage sale pile, or on its way to the dump.

In college, one of my favorite roommates of all time, a fiery red-head named Brianna, would scream "Screw you, Mr. Accounting Man!" at the computer screen as she did her accounting homework. It was her way of voicing her contempt for the ridiculous man she had to listen to who made no sense. I am borrowing her line, to express my similar feelings about our stimulus payment that came in the mail today.

I thought we were getting $1, 200. We are poor. We are married. It would make sense.

We only got $600.

WHAT?!?!

OK, so $600 is still $600. It's money we wouldn't have otherwise, and I realize we should be grateful.

But it's only half of $1,200. So I'm disappointed. And disgruntled.

Sure, the $1,200 was just going to sit in our bank account. But it would have been quite comfy and cozy there. I had a place all prepared for it. Visions of our account balance rising by over a thousand dollars were dancing in my head. Those dreams are dead. Thanks to the federal government.

In other updates, still no news on the job front. Another reason the additional $600 was supposed to come in handy.