home renovation

So, yesterday Chad and I went to my parent's house in Bountiful. They recently bought a new home (YEA!!!) and are getting ready to move. That, in combination with the fact that Chad and I are also moving in a couple of weeks, has forced me to get all of my belongings out of their garage. Sounds simple, right? Wrong. I am the epitome of sentimentality when it comes to accumulating junk. I never throw anything away. Notes passed to me in junior high school? Oh yes, some of those were there. Every card ever sent to me when I was Junior Miss? Oh yes, they were there. Some things were more than painful for me to toss away. I had to sit on my hands to keep from digging through the trash can to salvage what remained of the memories I was tossing away. I am a sick person. After going through boxes of belongings that have been packed away for the last five years, here are some of the worst of the worst. Things I am still asking, "Why in the heck did I keep this?" Prepare yourselves. It's not going to be pretty. The top ten:

1. WSU alcohol flask

This was gifted to me as a joke from my good friend Lena. We were attending universities with identical mascots: the cougar. My university, however, wasn't as keen on the alcohol consumption. I found this hysterical and it sat on a shelf in my dorm room, and later in my Glenwood apartment. I'm actually shocked I didn't get reported to the honor code office, come to think of it. Even with all of its charm, I'm not sure what I intended to do with it permanently.

2. Pink Fuzzy Dice

I feel a Cake song coming on . . . These used to hang proudly from the rear-view mirror of my 1984 Ford Bronco, Eddie. Oh, bless my heart. I know these were a gift from someone in high school as well.

3. Keys to my first car, a 1982 Honda Prelude

Her name was Truvy and she had a very short-lived life. For those of you who don't know, it is because of this vehicle that I now drive like a paranoid, 85-year-old woman. When I was 16, I flipped this car on my way home from school. Later that night I performed in the opening night of our high school's musical Our Miss Brooks, staring my good friend Emily.

4. Pet Rock from David

This rock from my friend David became a traditional gift. I think several of us were given these stones from his yard for various occasions. Was I hoping to use this to help pave my driveway someday? I know not. But saved it I did.

5. French Class Valentine

His name was Sam. He was a senior. I was a freshman. And was he ever cute. *Sigh. For those of you who can't read French, this says "I think that you are hot." Whatever possessed me to keep this for so many years I cannot say, because I'm pretty sure he might have been gay, but whatever.

6. Japan Airlines Barf Bag

This one takes the cake, folks. In sixth grade, JAL took all the sixth graders on a flight. This was the barf bag included in our flight package. Why did I keep this? Was I thinking that someday I might have the flu and be in need of a comforting reminder from my past that could still be used functionally? I have no idea.

7. IHOP name tag

As if the memories of two summers worth of feeding white-trash pancake eaters wasn't enough, apparently I felt the need to immortalize the experience by forever housing my name tag in a cardboard box. Was I holding on to this just in case the whole college degree thing didn't work out?

8. My Jesus shirt

This shirt became a bit of a trademark during high school. It was when I was going through my whole "Goodwill T-shirts, jeans, and no make-up phase." I think I have photos wearing this at play practice for each of the shows I was in. When I bought it on a Goodwill run, I had no idea that Jesus was on it. It wasn't until my friend Ryan proclaimed that "Jesus is on your shirt!" that I realized what I thought had said "sunrise balloon festival" actually said "Sonrise balloon festival."

9. Good Luck Poster

This is just one example of the countless similar items of memorabilia I had stashed away. This one was a poster my freshman ward friends made for me before I left to give up my title to the new Washington's Junior Miss. I guess I thought this definitely would look great framed in my house someday. I also had a poster my friend Jared used to ask me to Homecoming our senior year of high school. In addition, I had saved the Barbie birthday card my friend Elliott gave me when I turned 16. There was also a monstrous collection of cards from family and friends I felt the need to salvage.

10. Girls Camp Accessories

Every year at Girl's Camp we were all frantically trying to earn the special beads for our necklaces. I saved them all. Of course, one year it was pins for our tweety-bird hats, and I saved those, too. I think I look quite stylish, so I'm surprised I was able to part with these gems.

So, there you go. Hopefully, you don't think less of me after finding out about my horrifically bad habit. I do, however, feel I deserve some credit because each of these things is either in our garage sale pile, or on its way to the dump.