home renovation

I am tired. There is no need for you to say, "You look tired." Especially when I am trying to put on my happy face and act like it's not 9:00 and I haven't been home for longer than 15 minutes since 7:30 this morning. Especially when I thought I was actually having a cute day. I guess most makeup isn't supposed to last for 14 hours straight, but still! It's uncalled for. It's just a way for you to really say, "Gosh, you really look like crap," without really saying it. Such a pet peeve. There is this kid at work who says, "You look tired," pretty much everytime he sees me. It's not my fault there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done and still sleep. Trust me, if it was in my hands I'd arrange things that way.

I am excited for turkey, family, and SHOPPING!!! I had my last class today and don't have to go back until Monday! YEA!!! I am so thrilled. I spent the afternoon getting things together for a Christmas project. I'm making a magnet board that we can put everyone's Christmas cards/photos on this year. It's just going to be so nice to have some time to relax and breathe over the weekend. My hubby still has a few more classes and a big project and paper due. I am switching him places and being the supportive one while he stresses for once. So tonight I'm on my own for a while. He's at the library, so I think I will put on a good chick-flick, make some hot chocolate, and just enjoy my freedom.

ALSO, someone is probably going to buy my computer! That means I get to buy a bookshelf! I've had my eye on a really nice one at Sam's Club. We desperately need one because I have a trillion books and the collection just keeps becoming larger. It is pretty expensive, so Chad and I made a deal: I can buy it with the money we get from selling the computer. Someone called about it and said they want it! Let's keep our fingers crossed that it all works out. If so, the stacks of books in our bedroom can have a place to call home =-)

So my pre-student teaching experience isn't going so hot. I've had about a zillion meltdowns in the last week and a half. I am having some serious doubts about the profession I have chosen for myself. I just don't understand! When I did my first field experiences I loved being in the high school. Now I'm in a different school but it's the same grade and everything. You'd think I'd love it just as much but I don't. The kids are completely unmotivated, and they have no respect for their teacher (meaning they have even less respect for me). I just can't be the kind of teacher who screams and tells kids to shutup to get students' attention. My cooperating teacher thinks I'm too nice and that I'm afraid to be mean to them. It's not that I'm afraid to be mean to them, I just don't want to be. I'm perfectly ok with not being their best friend--I have plenty of friends and don't need eleventh graders to apply for the position. I just want a level of mutual respect. Is that too much to ask? I'm just not feeling it. I don't know if I'm cut out for this, and I think it's a little too late to change my mind. It's already not going well and I imagine it will only get worse when I'm "in charge" and the "real" teacher leaves the classroom. Any advice? Chad thinks it will be better when I have my own classroom...right now I just want to cry. I'm seriously contemplating applying for grad school. A masters degree in English with an emphasis in creative writing is sounding like a pretty good alternative to facing the real world =-)

Girls showering with their boyfriends. Girls screaming that we're horrible RAs because we're not on call 24 hours a day. Girls who have never had to clean because their mommies have done everything for them their entire lives. Somebody give me back my boys. They might have been slobs, but they knew it. Didn't try to hide it. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss them.

Red, sexy, impractical shoes that Katie cannot possibly afford:



$265.





Brown, more practical, teacher shoes that Katie still cannot afford:


$70.



Spending an hour on Piperlime.com when you should be studying:

Priceless.

There are some things money can't buy. Shoes aren't one of them. Money can buy shoes. And someday...when I have money...I will buy some. (Although I don't know if it will every be $265 for a pair...but maybe a chat w/ Aunt Pamela could convince me.)

Right now I am sitting in my pajamas and writing a blog instead of doing the hours of homework that I should be doing. My husband and I went out to eat because he convinced me that was a better alternative to me having another mini-breakdown over the list of things that are waiting for me to do that there is not enough time to complete. Here is what I have left to do:

-Turn in my student teaching application
-Turn in my graduation application
-Buy a birthday card for my friend
-Do laundry
-Do research and prepare a 30 minute oral report on Autism and teaching Autistic children
-Complete a genre project that consists of: collecting 6-7 sample resumes, annotating the resumes, writing a resume, and writing a reflection on my learning process.
-Do a 2-3 page Teacher Work Sample #1
-Write a lesson plan dealing with writing (for imaginary students)
-Plan my units for my student teaching experience to get approved by my cooperating teacher for next semester. I am covering British Lit- Restoration through Victorian periods from January to April
-Read about a million-gatrillion pages
-Study for the most ridiculous grammar test ever invented and take it

I decided I'm going to take some Nyquill and say the heck with it. I have been sick all week. It started with a sore throat and has moved into severe sinus pressure that makes my whole face feel full of snot. It's gross. And I feel bad because I know I am complaining about this way to much to my husband. Every five seconds the poor chap has to hear me say, "Honey...why do I feel sick?" Anyway, all of this yucky sickness isn't exactly motivating me to study. It makes it hard to concentrate. I've decided I just need to get some rest so I can study tomorrow.

Apparently even when a person's as stuffed up as I am it doesn't stop the scent of smelly feet from drifting to the nostrils. There is this boy in one of my English classes who always takes off his shoes in class. I don't know how HE can't recognize the putrid scent, but I certainly can- stuffed nose and all. It's disgusting. I mean, honestly, I don't see the reason for him removing his foot attire. It's not like he's a girl wearing painful heels- that I could understand (I'm a girl, I know that pain). But no, he's wearing BOY shoes- I don't even think they make uncomfortable boy shoes. He needs to learn to keep them on, because the smell is nauseating. EWWWWW.

Goodnight all, I'm off to bed!

Right now I am in the midst of beginning Fall Semester. It's a complicated one for me because I'm nearing the end of my BYU experience. While I am greatly excited to put my school days behind me, part of me is trying to figure out how I will possibly function in a life without classes everyday. I like learning. I like going to class. I don't know if I know enough to be a teacher, and I'm scared I'm going to end up wondering what I've gotten myself into by graduating. Anyway, aside from that I have a lot of interesting courses and next week I find out where I have my practicum experience (which is also where I will be doing my student teaching next semester...let's all join in a silent word of prayer and beg that it will be nearby and with a teacher I get along with). Anyway, all of the above really has nothing to do with what my post is about. I just had to include that as a preface so that you understand I am about to become a teacher and I'm taking a lot of classes that include field experience observing classrooms.

Yesterday I went with a friend of mine from my program to observe an 8th grade English class. The class was a general education room where special education students also attend. It was a reading day and so the class was going to spend all period reading a book of their choice. We went with them to the library so that they could have a few minutes to choose a book. Getting to the part that bothered me- the teachers were very...interesting. The teacher we were observing was there, along with a special education teacher, and a couple of others. While the students were picking out books, they proceeded to talk about them as if they weren't within earshot. They weren't exactly talking quietly, either. As if that wasn't bad enough, I found a lot of their comments inappropriate and borderline offensive. A lot of them were racially related. One teacher was complaining about her Hispanic students while one of them stood behind her trying to get her attention because she needed help. Then, when one of the special education students asked for help she didn't seem that interested in helping him. He'd picked out a book that wouldn't work for the assignment, but I think the poor kid just didn't know what to read. We've talked so much in my classes about pairing the right book with the right child so that they can learn to enjoy reading, but the teacher didn't really do that at all. Then, later when we got back to the classroom, he asked if he could call his mom and go home because he felt sick. It was so obvious that he was faking because he felt uncomfortable in the classroom. It really upset my friend and me. We vented all the way home about how appalled we were. I guess I always just picture teachers as wanting everyone to succeed and really trying to help everyone to succeed, and I didn't get that kind of impression from these teachers. It disappointed me.

On the bright side of things, my friend and I decided that we will be excellent teachers...even if it's only because we don't think and act the way those women did.