home renovation

So my pre-student teaching experience isn't going so hot. I've had about a zillion meltdowns in the last week and a half. I am having some serious doubts about the profession I have chosen for myself. I just don't understand! When I did my first field experiences I loved being in the high school. Now I'm in a different school but it's the same grade and everything. You'd think I'd love it just as much but I don't. The kids are completely unmotivated, and they have no respect for their teacher (meaning they have even less respect for me). I just can't be the kind of teacher who screams and tells kids to shutup to get students' attention. My cooperating teacher thinks I'm too nice and that I'm afraid to be mean to them. It's not that I'm afraid to be mean to them, I just don't want to be. I'm perfectly ok with not being their best friend--I have plenty of friends and don't need eleventh graders to apply for the position. I just want a level of mutual respect. Is that too much to ask? I'm just not feeling it. I don't know if I'm cut out for this, and I think it's a little too late to change my mind. It's already not going well and I imagine it will only get worse when I'm "in charge" and the "real" teacher leaves the classroom. Any advice? Chad thinks it will be better when I have my own classroom...right now I just want to cry. I'm seriously contemplating applying for grad school. A masters degree in English with an emphasis in creative writing is sounding like a pretty good alternative to facing the real world =-)