home renovation

So, I realized today how tragic it is that I have not been blogging this semester. Frankly, I have been ridiculously busy. Even so, it is no excuse for not making time for the hilarious, tragic, and every day moments of my semester.

I can't believe that on Sunday it will be April. What does this mean? Well, for starters it means student teaching will be coming to an end!!! Which means I will be graduating!!! Which means I have to get a grown up job. All of these things are exciting, but also scary. Because I've neglected to blog for so long, allow me to share with you the top ten moments of my student teaching experience (the good, the bad, and the ugly, and in no particular order):

10. Having a student elect to announce to the entire class that he's going to write about, "Why student teachers suck!" after I gave students permission to write about a student issue of their choice.

9. Writing delightfully pleasant comments on a student paper, only to suddenly discover that what I am reading seems vaguely familiar. AH! But wait! It wasn't vaguely familiar AT ALL! It was word-for-word the exact same project turned in by a student in another class that I teach!

8. Giving both students a zero on a 400 point project because they made the choice to disregard plagiarism/cheating policies and turn in the same project anyway.

7. Having students genuinely seem sad to find out I'm leaving soon and hearing them actually suggest that I stay the entire school year (It's nice to feel loved).

6. Listening to the buzz/hum in the classroom when real learning is happening and knowing that I made that happen.

5. Watching a student who has never passed English work so hard he made a C+! (I never knew a C+ could make me want to cry with joy!)

4. Actually talking about books with students and finding out that, yes, some of them do choose to read, despite their efforts to attempt to convince me they were illiterate when we read Pride and Prejudice.

3. Overhearing the following conversation and wanting to leap for joy:

Random High School Junior - UGH! I have to read Pride and Prejudice for English this
term.

My Student - We just finished reading that. I hated it at first. But it's a pretty good book
actually!

2. Having the quietest girl in the class, who never says a thing, actually volunteer to respond during group discussions.

1. Realizing that, yes, I am a teacher. Knowing how much I genuinely care for every student that I teach. Knowing that, even though days are hard, I really am making a difference for some. Crying for kids. Worrying about kids. Rejoicing in their successes. Giving them my all. This is what I have chosen as my profession, and I love it.

Now, someone hire me.

Me: Hey, honey, can you help me out? My shirt needs to be ironed. Could you do that for me while I'm getting ready for bed.

Husband: Sure. Where is it? (Examines shirt) Are you sure this needs to be ironed?

Me: Are you looking at the same shirt I am?

Husband: It's not even wrinkled.

Me: (Laughing) Are you being serious or sarcastic?

Husband: Serious.

Me: If you are honestly being serious, I am concerned.

Husband: I'll iron it for you, but it really doesn't look wrinkled to me at all.

Me: (Holding up extremely wrinkled, bottom portion of shirt) What about this part right here?

Husband: (Looking closely) I really don't see it!

Me: I am concerned for you based on that comment.

Needless to say, the shirt was hopelessly wrinkled. Bless his heart. I love him.

Today I came home from school absolutely exhausted. There's something about getting used to waking up every morning at 6:00 and being on my feet all day that makes me feel a bit tired. Since today is my day off work, I came home and zoned out in front of Oprah. My husband very intelligently suggested that I change out of my teaching clothes and into pajamas, even though it was only 4:00. I took his advice, and it was good advice indeed. I have spent all evening in these amazing pajama bottoms that my mother-in-law gave me for Christmas. They're fuzzy and blue. They sound weird when I describe them like that, but they are pretty much the best things ever invented. Right now my hubby is getting us ice cream. I'm so excited to eat something sweet, savor the last moments of my night off, and go to bed early. I'll need the rest--we're almost through Macbeth and it takes a lot of energy to keep high schoolers interested. Wish me luck!

Our house is all decorated for Christmas (and yes, this is an actual photo taken by my amazing photographer husband). It makes me so happy to see my cranberry wreath on the wall and smell our fabulous Salt City candle. The only problem is it also makes me want to sip away at hot chocolate and disregard my list of things to do. There is something about this time of year that always has me wanting to give up on school. Lately, I can become distracted by the lights on our Christmas tree for a full hour before I realize I haven't read a paragraph in my textbook. I can't wait for vacation!!! YEAH!!! I have decided I'm going to stop worrying about my student teaching experience and just enjoy the break. I can do anything for 3 months, even if it is the absolute hate. I went to talk to my practicum advisor and she told me to stop worrying about it. She thinks I will do fabulously and that I am just too stressed to realize that now. PLUS, I found out that my supervisor is one of my most favorite professors of all time. She will give it to me straight without making me cry. AND I know that she won't freak out if I cry, so that is even better. I'm going to start trying to have more positive thoughts about the whole thing. Wish me luck!

I am tired. There is no need for you to say, "You look tired." Especially when I am trying to put on my happy face and act like it's not 9:00 and I haven't been home for longer than 15 minutes since 7:30 this morning. Especially when I thought I was actually having a cute day. I guess most makeup isn't supposed to last for 14 hours straight, but still! It's uncalled for. It's just a way for you to really say, "Gosh, you really look like crap," without really saying it. Such a pet peeve. There is this kid at work who says, "You look tired," pretty much everytime he sees me. It's not my fault there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done and still sleep. Trust me, if it was in my hands I'd arrange things that way.

I am excited for turkey, family, and SHOPPING!!! I had my last class today and don't have to go back until Monday! YEA!!! I am so thrilled. I spent the afternoon getting things together for a Christmas project. I'm making a magnet board that we can put everyone's Christmas cards/photos on this year. It's just going to be so nice to have some time to relax and breathe over the weekend. My hubby still has a few more classes and a big project and paper due. I am switching him places and being the supportive one while he stresses for once. So tonight I'm on my own for a while. He's at the library, so I think I will put on a good chick-flick, make some hot chocolate, and just enjoy my freedom.

ALSO, someone is probably going to buy my computer! That means I get to buy a bookshelf! I've had my eye on a really nice one at Sam's Club. We desperately need one because I have a trillion books and the collection just keeps becoming larger. It is pretty expensive, so Chad and I made a deal: I can buy it with the money we get from selling the computer. Someone called about it and said they want it! Let's keep our fingers crossed that it all works out. If so, the stacks of books in our bedroom can have a place to call home =-)

So my pre-student teaching experience isn't going so hot. I've had about a zillion meltdowns in the last week and a half. I am having some serious doubts about the profession I have chosen for myself. I just don't understand! When I did my first field experiences I loved being in the high school. Now I'm in a different school but it's the same grade and everything. You'd think I'd love it just as much but I don't. The kids are completely unmotivated, and they have no respect for their teacher (meaning they have even less respect for me). I just can't be the kind of teacher who screams and tells kids to shutup to get students' attention. My cooperating teacher thinks I'm too nice and that I'm afraid to be mean to them. It's not that I'm afraid to be mean to them, I just don't want to be. I'm perfectly ok with not being their best friend--I have plenty of friends and don't need eleventh graders to apply for the position. I just want a level of mutual respect. Is that too much to ask? I'm just not feeling it. I don't know if I'm cut out for this, and I think it's a little too late to change my mind. It's already not going well and I imagine it will only get worse when I'm "in charge" and the "real" teacher leaves the classroom. Any advice? Chad thinks it will be better when I have my own classroom...right now I just want to cry. I'm seriously contemplating applying for grad school. A masters degree in English with an emphasis in creative writing is sounding like a pretty good alternative to facing the real world =-)