home renovation

For those of you we have no address for (but whom we still love dearly), and for those of you whose Christmas cards came back to me return to sender this year, I wanted to post our Christmas letter and Christmas card photos.  I hope your holiday season was a beautiful one!

Once a year, I brave the elements and risk my life for discounts on products I don't really need.  Once a year, as I melt into a puddle of exhaustion following the aforementioned excursion, I question my sanity.  What is it about Black Friday that is so irresistible to me?  I honestly don't know.  But even last year, when I was my infant’s only source of food and could only venture out for a few hours, I didn’t miss it.  I couldn’t miss it.  I had to go. 

This year, the sales began earlier than ever before, which was a bit unsettling for a purist like me.  I don't want to sound like an old geezer telling, "Back in my day" stories in a nursing home, but honestly, I don't like this stores-open-at-midnight garbage.  Not cool.  Luckily, the biggest ticket item I was after was a Sonicare toothbrush, so I didn't have to sacrifice family time on Thanksgiving day to sleep in a tent outside of Best Buy like some loonies.  I did, however, leave my home at 9:15 on Thursday night and was chauffeured to the Goldsboro Target by one of my favorite people and shopping buddies, my sister-in-law, Lauren.

We immediately got in the line (which already reached the end of the building) and started to wait.  And wait.  And wait some more.  It was cold.  Luckily, even though my husband seemed to think it was going to be 65 degrees outside (this is the same man who once told me it never gets cold in North Carolina when I asked him what to pack for my sister-in-law's wedding in November) and that I wouldn't need a coat, I had decided not to trust his opinion on this issue.  My bright red, puffy coat kept my upper half nice and toasty, and the fact that I paired it with a bright green scarf, orange sweatshirt, and blue toboggan made it an especially stellar fashion choice.  Luckily, Lauren loved me enough to still stand next to me. 

As the line at Target grew, so did our tobacco consumption.  While I didn't puff a single cigarette, I can guarantee I inhaled a pack and a half of nicotine through second hand smoke.  We were surrounded by smokers, none of whom seemed too concerned about where their smoke was blowing.  At about 11:00, we started making a list of everything we would remember to bring next year:

1.  Lawn chairs
2.  Supplies for a hot cocoa and warm cookie stand, so we can make a killing (Seriously, why has no one maximized on this profit potential?!)
3.  Hand warmers for our pockets
4.  Long underwear
5.  Longer socks
6.  Blankets

Just about the time that I thought I might die from a cigarette smoke induced headache, we heard the huge cheer signaling that the doors were being opened.  We prepared to run.  Target uses very organized methods on Black Friday, so we had received maps while waiting in line, and we knew exactly where our items were hiding.  Lauren was going to charge for the GPS and portable DVD player on our list (luckily they were stashed in the same display in none other than the grocery department), while I hit the healthcare aisle in search of the electric toothbrush.

Target also only allows a certain number of customers to enter the store every fifteen seconds.  This also helps in containing some of the chaos.  Some, but not all.  It never fails.  Every Black Friday there are the same people, trying to sneak in line (like those of us who have frozen our tails off for the last gazillion hours are going to somehow magically not notice that they have pushed their toasty-from-the-well-heated-car behind in front of us).  A lot of the time, these people get away with their mischief, but nothing makes me happier than seeing those individuals get what they deserve.  It is like a little piece of justice in an unjust world.  This year, a blonde middle-aged woman in a pink sweatshirt had the nerve to tell the security guard that, "There is no sign saying I have to wait in line," also adding that she would, "need to speak to your manager."  No sign?  Here's your sign, Pinky!

This is when my love for Black Friday really comes into play.  Suddenly, it doesn't matter that no one in line has known each other longer than a few hours.  We are suddenly comrades, brothers in arms.  We have fought the good fight, and we're darned if we're going to let anybody reap the benefits of our hard work.  The people in front of us were linking arms to barricade the woman's attempt to pass.  The cigarette-puffing broad behind us was vocalizing the fact that her boots, "weren't made for walking, they were made for kicking *ss."  My sister-in-law and I had no problem snitching to the employee at the entrance with a walkie-talkie by saying, "It's her!  The one in the pink sweatshirt!  Don't let her in!!!"  Nothing made my heart happier than leaving the store, my desired purchases tucked neatly in my plastic bag, and seeing Pinky still being held in custody outside.  Waiting her turn like everyone else.

After Target, we had a decision to make.  Belk was giving out gift cards ranging from $5 to $1,000 to the first 250 customers, and their doors opened at 3 a.m.  It was now only about fifteen minutes after midnight, so we thought we might have a shot at getting one, depending on the length of the line.  We wanted to get some hot chocolate at the Starbucks inside Target, but decided not to chance it.  What if there were already 248 people in line?  The potential for that $1,000 shopping spree was too enticing.  In hindsight, we should have gotten the hot chocolate.

The two lines at Belk looked pretty promising.  We hopped in line behind a woman who had braved Walmart for a Power Wheel jeep for her daughter.  As much as I love Black Friday, you could never pay me enough to go to a Wal-Mart for the occasion.  Have you been to Wal-Mart on a regular shopping day?  What about that experience would suggest that a $2 waffle iron is worth a trip there during a time that promises a battle to the death with thousands of other crazed customers?  It was while in line at Belk that I learned why bums sleep on cardboard.  Lauren had a piece in her car, and we plopped right down on that sucker.  Sitting in line is so much better than standing in line (see item #1 on list of things to remember for next year).

About an hour into our wait outside of Belk, we started to realize that there were way too many rule-breakers at this location.  The line in front of us wasn’t getting longer, but it was certainly getting thicker, as people came and joined their “friends” who had been saving them places in line.  The thicker the line became, the thinner our dreams of getting a gift card.  After a brief discussion, we decided to leave and go to a store that was already open, so we didn’t have to sit out and freeze for what was likely to be $5, if anything. 

Maybe I’m getting old, but when we saw the line to checkout at Old Navy, we walked straight back to the car.  Nothing in that store was worth waiting in that line.  We decided to drive back to Kinston, pick up some McDonald’s, and try our luck at the Belk there, since we knew most people had probably gone out of town to do their Black Friday shopping.  We figured we could then hit up the JC Penny at the mall there before going home.

We were devastated when the McDonald’s wasn’t open, but we met some delightful friends in the line outside of Belk.  We got to hear about the wedding plans of one line buddy’s son, shared our cardboard and airline blanket with an elderly woman, and listened to the woman in front of us recount the pepper spray incident she had witnessed at Wal-Mart a few hours earlier.  (Remember what I said about Wal-Mart?  Heed my advice people:  nothing there can possibly be worth it!)  We both got gift cards, although neither of us was the lucky $1,000 winner.  Lauren got $5 and I got $10.


We finished up at JC Penny a little before six, and after a Bojangle’s bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit, I was snuggled warm in my bed.  I woke up three hours later.  When I really stop to think about it, nothing I purchased was something I desperately needed.  The sleep-deprived stupor I spent all of Friday and part of Saturday in was not a delightful experience.  I still have to do some Christmas shopping.  I can’t justify the six hours between midnight and daylight that I spent shopping.  I don’t know why I did it.  But I will tell you this, the time I spent crumpled in a tired heap on a dressing room floor, giggling with my sister-in-law, was pretty much priceless.  There is just something about Black Friday that keeps me coming back year after year.  Maybe it’s OK that I can’t quite decide why.   

In a big way.

Last night, Chad and I bought a lottery ticket.

Sinful.  I know.

We were at the gas station and the billboard next door was proclaiming in giant red letters that the jackpot had reached a whopping $245 million, and we caved.  Consider it our donation to the NC education system.  (Speaking of, WHERE is that money going to in the education system, anyway?)

It's pretty clear to me that this is the solution to our unemployment situation.  Why hasn't Chad found a job yet?  Oh, because we're about to become millionaires!  It's all making so much more sense now. 

Don't worry, I won't forget about any of you when I wake up tomorrow fabulously wealthy.  

Kaden actually roared like a lion after every prompt of, "What does a lion say, Kaden?" while trunk-or-treating/trick-or-treating.

I just realized, after writing my depressing post about my day at school, that Kadester is 14 months old today.  So, to make myself feel better, I am going to post adorable pictures of my child and write about all of the precious things he is currently doing.

• Is talking!  Is it terrible that I'm not sure what his first word was?  I'm really not sure what his first word was.  In retrospect, I'm pretty sure he was saying some words long before we realized he was saying words if that makes any sense . . . Regardless, some of the words Kaden currently says are Dada, Mama, nana (meaning banana), cheese (He has woken up in the morning screaming this one.  That's how much he loves string cheese!), shoe, dog, duck (and quack), fish, bye-bye, this (Meaning, what is this? or I want this.  He always says this as he points at things.), guck (meaning yuck), truck, tree, Gigi, and roars like a lion when asked "What does a lion say?" (We are getting ready for Halloween.)  He tries to say Tip-Top (the name of his stuffed giraffe).  He has said blue and green, but he doesn't use these that frequently.  In addition, he wanders around the house speaking in some language that we cannot understand.

• Loves to talk on the phone.  He holds the phone up to his ear and wanders around the house babbling away in his foreign tongue.  The best part of this is he has to be walking around to talk.  One day he was in his high chair and he kept pointing at my cellphone.  He had a melt down until I took him out of the chair so he could run around the house while he talked.

• Loves, loves, LOVES to be outside and has a meltdown at the back door when he can't go outside and wants to. 

• Loves watching cars and trucks.  Since the hurricane, there have been lots of extra dump trucks, waste trucks, and backhoes roaming the streets of Kinston, and he can't get enough of them.  He is pure boy.  We went to a yard sale on Saturday and they were selling a go-cart.  Kaden immediately climbed right into the driver's seat. 

• Loves spending time with our neighbors, the Howards.  Kaden is in love with Stephanie and her kids.  They steal him to go on lots of walks, to feed the fish in a friend's pond, and to jump on the trampoline.  

• Loves animals.  He is infatuated with the dog, Ginger, that our neighbors watch.  He also likes to pet the dogs next door through the fence.  He is enamored with the YouTube video of the Welsh Corgi puppy.  It doesn't matter how sad he is, all you have to do is turn on that video, and he breaks into a HUGE grin.   

• Loves to kick and throw whatever resembles a ball.

• Is obsessed with shoes.  He carries them all over the house.  I am constantly looking for one of my shoes.

• Throws things away.  All the time.  This is a dangerous one.  We have found the remote control in the trashcan before.  In keeping with his shoe obsession, I find at least one of my shoes in the trashcan daily.  Lucky are the days when we find things in a fresh, unsoiled garbage bag.  Unlucky are the days when it's the opposite.  

• Has figured out how to lift the toilet seat and throw things into the toilet bowl.  This is a fun one.  We have sanitized a few items in boiling water due to this discovery.  He hasn't figured out how to flush...yet.  

• Is trying to learn to jump, but can't figure it out yet.  This is hilarious to watch.  

• Can climb up onto furniture and get down by crawling backwards.  

• Likes to smell things, especially candles.  On our walk the other day, he spent a good chunk of time smelling the flowers.

• Loves to wrestle and rough house with Daddy. 

• Loves to read books by himself and loves to be read to. (This is one of the few times he'll sit still on your lap.)

• Helps do chores around the house.  He will help me put the wet laundry into the dryer (and run away with wet onesies that I have to collect later), and he will wipe up the floor if he spills milk or juice from his sippy cup. 

• Now has six teeth.  The two newest just popped through.  

• Still considers Tip Top to be his best buddy.  He loves that stuffed giraffe.  It is precious watching him give Tip Top loves.  

• Has had his first haircut and now looks like a little boy instead of a baby.  (A longer post with video and up-to-date pictures to follow.)